....Perhaps I jest. Or perhaps within days salons and beauty technicians all over London and the rest of the civilised world will receive requests for designer "stubble". Who's to say that Donatella does not already sport a fluorescent pink Versace "V" to mark the spot. Have Posh and Becks been secretly sporting the Louis Vuitton print? Could J-lo have a Coco below? Elton John may have had - well, best not to imagine that, but you must agree that there are infinite options where public pubic branding is concerned....

"It's early days, but we have already received a number of telephone complaints and if we receive any written complaints we will investigate the advert," said a spokeswoman for the advertising standards authority.